One of the undigested facts I have heard from my friends is
that many guys are interested in dowry even in these modern times. They claim
that it’s their right to have dowry as boy. Their parents have invested so much
in their studies and indirectly it is helpful to his wife. So funny na... I
feel such thinking as ridiculous. In fact one of the guys has gone up to the
extent of saying that he is not in need of the money but still if he doesn't
take dowry he will be left behind in the competition of having huge bank
accounts. (God! what kind of people am I meeting these days. I regret meeting
such people).
I have also seen some
girls who are willfully taking huge amounts from their parents’ home to their
in-laws. Their argument is that father's property is inherited by male child. And
this dowry system, originated mostly as a Hindu tradition ancient India, was
followed to benefit the girl child. The share of the girl is deposited or given
to the female child's next guardian, her husband in the name of dowry.
Women's financial
security was also considered in the Middle East cultures and religions. In
Islam, the female child inherits a less fraction of her ancestral property and
she also benefits from the Maher received from her husband on her marriage to him.
But in India, this dowry system has adopted and inculcated in the Islamic
culture as well. Its repercussions are visible cultural practice of Jahez in Muslims of Indian, Pakistani and
Bangladeshi origin.
Bride price was
practiced in the ancient times when the suitors used to offer amount to the
bride’s parents and the highest bidder used to win the bride. This was followed
because in that sort of society the wellbeing of the girl and the comfort of
her future was directly related to the wealth that groom possesses. Richness
was proportional to comfort, lifestyle for bride which indirectly preferred in
choice of the groom by the parents of the girl. But that was old strategy. Today's
society is different. Even though many bride abandoning cases have been
reported, I still don’t understand why parents of Punjab, Haryana, Andhra
Pradesh and many other parts of our country are getting carried away with the
glitters of the N.R.I grooms.
There is a decline in
the number of violent cases of dowry reported since the last decade. But still
the rate of decline is very low. I have seen in the case of some of my Karelite
friends that, despite Kerala has a literacy rate of 90.5%, parents are
literally bankrupted after they marry off their daughter. Hence, we can say
that education need not totally wipe away the social evils. The mind-set of
people has to be changed. Small cause or the large cause we must encourage
ourselves to take a pride stand against unjust.
In most of the societies in our country women are grown up, though
they are properly educated, with a mindset of man-dependence. Many sections of
society, even today, think that the primary purpose of women is to be a subject
of men at all stages of her life. Women are raised up with an attitude to serve
the one man and his entire unit. I was shocked to hear from an educated friend
of mine when he said his sisters are married away no sooner they complete their
primary education, as they think women lose their innocence if they let her
pursue higher education. At first they will assign her with a man and if he
wishes to educate her, she will study. With such attitude and mindset they make
a totally unfriendly environment for a girl child to grow. No wonder why female
infanticide still persists.
I don’t understand why a guy or a girl should be inherited
with any kind of property in any form from the parents. The most valuable
property whatever parents can give to the child is the skill and the ability to
learn to develop in any circumstances or situation. The intellectual property, the
best ever learning environment possible to them, so that a child can gain the
strength to face odds and the strength to stand still on the principles he has
learned by his own experiences while growing.
