MAN-DEPENDENT

After graduation many girls have the only dream of getting married. Aspirations and worries of married life top their wish list. But I am quite different. I have different goals. I am graduated and still jobless. I am worried about getting admissions into a good college for my Post-Graduation. I am much more worried about becoming self-dependent. Let me share with you the small problems which girls like me, who think unconventionally, face in the middle class environment.

         I was traveling to my home town for holidays. I successfully managed to get a window seat all alone.Yes,”Successfully managed”?. Common we all know how much crowded our A.P.S.R.T.C buses are during the holiday season. Well that’s not what is important now. Coming to the point, I was very happy with my window seat because it is a tiresome four hour journey and I needed some fresh air.

The bus started. I relaxed listening to music. I called my mom to inform her that I started home. Recognizing that I speak a familiar language to her, an aunt sitting beside me started to grow curious about me. Bingo! She got a time pass to entertain herself on this tiresome journey. No sooner did I finish the phone call, she showered questions over me.

Auntiji asked “Is it your Ammi?”

I replied “Yes Auntiji”.

Then she started making sympathetic faces and asked “Oh dear! Why are you traveling all alone?”

I wished to say ‘Come on Auntiji why are you acting as I was dying. It’s just a four hour journey and it’s like finding some peaceful time to sit and finish of a good magazine’. But I humbly replied “Because I study here and I am going back home for my holidays”.

Then she started firing random questions, consoling me and assuring me that she was there to take care of me during the entire journey. I was irritated at first. But, later I was amazed by her curiosity. I smiled.

Auntiji again started asking “Are you studying all alone?”

I wished to say “Yeah I don’t want to do my studies all alone and I wish Y.S.R would have come back and pass some more educational reforms apart from scholarships. Something like the entire family should join the studies. How about I read 2 chapters and Auntiji you do the rest of it and we both write my exam and I pass it. Good suggestion na.”

Instead I smiled again.

Auntiji: “Has any guy come to send me off at the station?” ”Chacha?,Mama?,bhaiya?”

I: “No Auntiji”.

Auntiji: “KHAASSS DOSTTT????????” and started making faces again…

Now I completely got the clue of her intentions. I had to calm down her curiosity by saying that my Bhai is going to pick me up at the station, when I reach there. Hoping the aunty is pacified, I, I started reading. I successfully avoided her next question by acting as if I were completely involved in my book.

I understand people feel that a girl must be ‘MAN-DEPENDENT’. But I want to be ‘SELF-DEPENDENT’. I feel good doing things on my own. This makes me independent, grown up, able. If I go somewhere without an accomplice, it doesn't mean that my family is not bothered about me. It simply means that they trust me. They are confident that I can take care of myself in such small things and they have taught me well. In fact my family feel honored as I grow and manage new situations. Sometimes some mistakes happen, but I still learn from them and grow. If a girl learns new things, aspires to lead life; a little bit, independent it’s not the innocence of her that is lost. It’s the ignorance.

What kind of offense am I committing, if I go out with my friends for just a panipuri, if I feel like having a walk alone and enjoy myself, if a friend drops me home. I simply become a prey of suspicious gossip mongering aunties.

I know gossip and spreading rumors is the most successful mechanism by you aunties of society to relieve yourself from the frustration of day-to-day lives. But still have you not assigned that responsibility to be rumored about to the film-stars and Rakhi Sawanth. Why me? Why me?

I want to say: “Come on!!! Please have a life. You have much more important things to do with your life. You can prevent Uncle, who is already over paid for his government job, from taking bribes. You can even stop Dadaji from ending up in to an old-age home. Even if that is not possible you can at least teach your sons to behave and respect girls when they go out.”

Please just realize that self-dependence and aspiring girls like me are not a threat to the morals of society. But by hurting us you are meddling with the future of the society.

no no

My greatest achievement is that i am not you.

My greatest regret is that yesterday i was aspiring to be you.

You hurt me and let me down.

But I thank you for showing me practically that no one can make you feel inferior expect yourself.

Because of you I realized that my greatest aspiration is not in achieving success,fame and riches but it lies in not loosing my integrity and character even after reaching great heights.

                                                                                                   THANK YOU.

p.s: plz don't hurt any person because they might not be able to gather the strength and integrity to face it.

                                                      HEAL

Today I can understand why people are still happy, even though they lose everything. I have learnt that every wound teaches me and also that there is a magic called healing in the life. Of lately I understand that scars are the worthiest possessions that one can have because they keep on reminding the past lessons. I realize that there was no need to worry so much about the things out of my control. Today I have learnt that to find solutions I must constantly tame my mind to stop bothering, be patient and start working. Today I no longer fear the unknown because I have already faced the dangers of the comfort zone. And it’s today that I really feel i have grown.

                                                                                                                 -starlet