Busy Bee

Finally I have completed designing my template.Today i am visiting my blog after a lot of days.Mastering Business administration is indeed a busszzeeee process.Finding no time to relax. :-(...I have become such a busy bee that i have no time to visit my home or a friend even for the weekend.Exams Exams and more Exams....confused on which brand to choose as my presentation topic on "positioning" this Monday. Samsung smart phone or Micromax.Finally decided to go with our desi brand.I was appalled when it took me more than one month to finish Ayn Rand. :-(

Yesterday our class attended a workshop on "finding the champion with in". A girl of my class asked my fav.. Organisational Behavior professor regarding work-personal life balance.
As a student never thought regarding this aspect.I realized that until now we were in a so comfortable environment where most of the things were managed by our parents.Life is easy now though it seems to be tough.If forecasting is to be done then comparatively life is smooth and comfortable now.Being an adult and doing a job is seriously an adult business.Some times it really gets tough to balance your work,family,personal life and health.c'est la vie.
The girl was answered that there is really no clear cut solution for handling it.Only the situation teaches you.
You must have clarity in what you are doing and must prioritize properly.
I feel the majority of work stress can prevented in working in the sector you love and the job which you are passionate about.
Exercise or dance.
Have some thing(hobby) or some one(strong relationships with loved ones,friends and family)  where you feel relaxed and relieve out all your stress.if you find any more incl. plz tell me.
Anyways i am stressed more as i sit in-front of the screen.Got to go.Have an boring economics exam.... :-(....  Now don't yell at me saying what i am doing on my blog if i have so much work.Its my relaxation mechanism. :-P....Yeah Yeah I am going. hasta la vista
                                                                                                                 -starlet

HEAL

Today I can understand why people are still happy, even they lose everything. 

I learnt the magic of healing and patience in the life. 

I realize that there was no need to worry so much about the things out of my control. 

Today, I have learnt that to find solutions, I must tame my mind to stop bothering and start working. Today, I no longer fear the unknown because I have already faced the dangers of the comfort zone. And it’s today that I really feel that I have grown.

ADDICTION

The other day, I was travelling back to Hyderabad from Bangalore. I got in to the bus. An elderly couple was sending off their young girl to their relative’s house. I was made sit beside her. The women gave multiple instructions to her daughter and the driver. The bus started. She waved her daughter until she disappeared.

I felt, children can grow up, but parents can never grow up to the stage of accepting the thought that their child can manage on their own.

I was happy. I hate journeys and I was wishing for someone to talk. And here was a girl of my age and we both face the same sadness (mummy's emotional attyachar) of going away from parents for a few days. Well this girl was very nice. I didn't feel the boredom of the journey. It’s like we were friends before. We spoke about everything possible in the world. We also discussed about religion, science, movies, boys, role models, Mother Teresa and all. It was a nice journey. Our talking was going on and on...

We were hungry and the bus stopped somewhere. All the passengers got down to have their dinner at a nearby dhaba. We had our food packed. So we chose to sit in the bus and eat. No sooner did we start eating an old man was standing in front of us. He was thin, weak. His right hand and right side of the body were paralyzed. He smelled all the drugs and medications. He was travelling alone. It felt like hardly he can manage to walk. We felt pity. He wanted me to open his tiff-in box from his bag. I did as he signaled me. I opened his bag, took out his tiff-in box, took out the spoon, put his water bottle beside him and helped him eat. He ate as if he were hungry for ages .He was stinking. I hated it. I was hungry even. But I grew sympathetic. I felt pity for this old man. I thought let him eat first. But still I helped him. He ate. I was contended that i did not get in to a medical college. I felt, just to help a half paralyzed man, a little part of my heart was hesitating and reluctant, hats off to mother. She went out in to the slums and helped to the extent she can.

Meanwhile the passengers, bus driver got in. We all thought if the bus starts earlier we can reach home early. The driver stared the bus. Suddenly someone told driver to stop the bus. We thought there might be an emergency. But to my surprise it was the old man we helped. He was requesting the driver to stop the bus. I further inquired and to my shock i came to know that this old man was asking the driver to stop for five minutes so that he can smoke. Damn. I regret helping him. This guy when he was denied to get down the bus, he started smoking in the bus only. I felt anger, at the same time I was laughing...SOME PEOPLE NEVER CHANGE.

Whatever may happen to that Old man? I don't care.

Addictions are strange. People are strange... weird...

FORCED INTROVERSION

Don't blame me for my solitude.
All of them pushed me in.
I am into state of forced introversion.
I retrieve in to a cocoon of my imaginary world.
A sort of self imposed exile.
Started with the "all-are-good" perception towards the world
Which,eventually,proved me wrong
Its so not-like-me-style to have a pessimistic approach
So left caring the world.
I know nothing can cure me.
If such melancholy is reality,
Who wants to be cured.
I would rather love be nurtured
Waiting for you in an eager.
I know the scope of my 'imaginary-you' is meager
Nevertheless,longing for your love my dear.
To create our own world where i identify my belonging.

miss u ma friendz

Please say you will be there
I know,some day i have to be myself.
But ,still please just say...
When i fall,
I need some one to fall back on
Please say that you will be there to hold me.
They say that now-a-days, 'friendship is just a marriage of convenience'
But dear we will build up it on sacrifice.
Life is all trust and belief
Every clarity is leading to confusions
Every confusion is making me more clear.
Unstoppable curiosity,
Unexpected mistakes,
Unpredictable results,
I can handle on my own.
I know that you know it.
But please be there for me until i know it.

a caring touch or a word is enough to cure and make some one feel better.

                   

AVERAGE JANE

potriats

Some of ma friends are asking why I was not posting any blog these days. The hard drives of my lappie are filled with and needed to be cleaned up. So I was just going through some old photographs and wanted to share some of interesting ones.
These were the photos taken by my mumma when she went to a tour at paderu agency in vizag for some social cause with her friends. My mom managed to click some great portraits of those tribal people.

IDENTITY

Some of my friends say summi concentrates on cliche, not-so-happening things. They complain that sometimes I think too much. They say i am not contemporary. Yes, may be. May be sometimes I am committing social suicide by involving my mind into curable but uncured obvious problems of society. I do not understand what sort of trend, fashion, lifestyle or modernism demands you to live by showing blind eye to inner you. We have to enjoy every aspect of our life. Have fun. However, does enjoying every time mean losing yourself? Can’t we enjoy by being ourselves?
I am an Indian. I am a practicing, moderate Muslim, A small town girl of Telangana and a social conscious youth pursuing her education in a city, a fun loving girl who loves to have many diverse hobbies and interests. I am lucky to grow up in an environment with amalgam of cultures bestowed to these contemporary youth. I do not have any stereotypical identity. My identity is a blend of all the positive traits that I have learned from my cultural surroundings, the good things I am able to absorb and seek from the knowledge resources until now. Well may be its time to recognize the fantastic blend identity, which most of the youth in the society have. May be its time to move on and start recognizing people also by what they choose to be apart from what they are born of or where they belong.

TELANGANA WOMEN'S INTELLECTUAL DISCUSSION

On 26 th January,2011,republic day, I got an opportunity of involving in some good discussions on actual situation of our country.I was invited to a discussion on TELANGANA WOMEN'S INTELLECTUAL COMMITTE.It was different form all the others because some extra ordinary women from all the sectors of the society walked in for open discussion and their aspirations regarding telangana moment.I felt this as a good discussion because people were actually discussing the topic and the need for telangana.Many women,in much more then the expected numbers came there.I have some where heard that women's empowerment, political and social consciousness of women has been related to socio-economic status of the country.If that is true the situation of the country has really improved.We have changed from "just survive" situation to a "make a change" state of mind.

My topic was aspirations of Muslim girl students regarding telangana.I spoke this after discussing with many of my friends.I responded this when there was a cat fight about backward class or muslims nd all were digging and clinging to past and fighing and all instead of fair discussions about aspirations of telangana.
                                    Thanks to z.p.h.s l.m.d colony urdu medium staff,shahanaz fathima,shafia kouser,afreen,ayesha sultana,murtuza,n.p, and many other friends who helped for the mini scale research on the topic.
                                                                            

LET ME

The way i follow is always new not strange it thrills me.

I feel connected and myself with it.
So plz dont bother about me and hold me back with your care...
I am following something which i cant figure out right now.
It may seem dark,full of trouble.
It may appear risky, untraveled.
Or it may seem silly,stupid and common ,which you may feel i do not deserve..
But the way amuse me.
I may not reach it.
Or i may feel how freak was i to follow it
But plz let me go to the extent i can..
Plz let me discover myself.
I know you will always be there when i fall apart and return.
You say let me come along with you...
But that journey would be ours not mine...
And I want this one to be mine..
I want to test myself..
Test the skills u have taught me.
Why don't you feel proud when i walk alone all by myself?
Why do you want to hold my hand even when I am able to walk..
My path..Its pulling me.
I can feel its gravity,the hope for the new world which lie undiscovered.
Waiting just for me to unfold.
A new turn,a future for us..
Now you say that if i don't want u to come along with you i will assign some one else.
But please realize on this path and particularly this one i need to travel on my own.
I am strong enough to deal
If I am not strong the troubles in my way will make me...
After all my quest is for unknown.
It may lead to glory or to the doom.
I do not know.
Still i want to go.
But i will not be able to take even a single step when you are dissatisfied...
I know the paradise lies under your feet.
but let me discover and realize the door to it.


                                                                                                                               

                                                                                                      -Starlet

                                                                                                              

CLASHES

In the battle of fundamentalism and modernity i always trouble my heart and my mind..

To what extent shall I embrace the conventional,contemporary and modern traditions.

Should I act according to the situation or should I stick to what I am supposed to do.

Should I allow myself to act according to the reason,a reason to do everything,a reason to justify what ever i have

acted in the past and whatever i am going to act,every step i take or should i simply go by emotions?

What is the dividing line between individualism and selfishness?

A distinguishing point between fun and happiness?

follow principles but on what principles they are laid on?

Should i do something because it is the safest thing to do or should i take risk and offend the unjust?

Are certain things really unjust or am i the only one who is bothered?

How do i know that every time i act am i acting with courage or madness for a wild goose chase?

How do i know if my dreams are realistic or am i compromising on my dreams thinking they are too imaginary and fancy?

Is following my heart offending others?

Is it really hurting them or hurting their unthoughtful, prejudiced ego and emotions?

What are the things i can change and the things i cant change?

I aspire freedom but to what extent?

I aspire practicing traditions but to what extent should i practice?

Will this lead to open mind or will i be blinded by faith?

I want to be creative but what can be the limit of my creativity and free thinking?

Is my creativity killing the rules and regulations?

Is my creativity actually disturbing the system?

Is the system actually helping things to happen or limiting the man's potential?

Is there any equilibrium point?

Then one of the thing my heart replied is the that "The point,the limit,the extent is where your soul and heart stays unpolluted and pure."

But how do i know that?

                    I think my life is full of never ending questions..... 

INHERITANCE ACT 2011

One of the undigested facts I have heard from my friends is that many guys are interested in dowry even in these modern times. They claim that it’s their right to have dowry as boy. Their parents have invested so much in their studies and indirectly it is helpful to his wife. So funny na... I feel such thinking as ridiculous. In fact one of the guys has gone up to the extent of saying that he is not in need of the money but still if he doesn't take dowry he will be left behind in the competition of having huge bank accounts. (God! what kind of people am I meeting these days. I regret meeting such people).

 I have also seen some girls who are willfully taking huge amounts from their parents’ home to their in-laws. Their argument is that father's property is inherited by male child. And this dowry system, originated mostly as a Hindu tradition ancient India, was followed to benefit the girl child. The share of the girl is deposited or given to the female child's next guardian, her husband in the name of dowry.

 Women's financial security was also considered in the Middle East cultures and religions. In Islam, the female child inherits a less fraction of her ancestral property and she also benefits from the Maher received from her husband on her marriage to him. But in India, this dowry system has adopted and inculcated in the Islamic culture as well. Its repercussions are visible cultural practice of Jahez in Muslims of Indian, Pakistani and Bangladeshi origin.

 Bride price was practiced in the ancient times when the suitors used to offer amount to the bride’s parents and the highest bidder used to win the bride. This was followed because in that sort of society the wellbeing of the girl and the comfort of her future was directly related to the wealth that groom possesses. Richness was proportional to comfort, lifestyle for bride which indirectly preferred in choice of the groom by the parents of the girl. But that was old strategy. Today's society is different. Even though many bride abandoning cases have been reported, I still don’t understand why parents of Punjab, Haryana, Andhra Pradesh and many other parts of our country are getting carried away with the glitters of the N.R.I grooms.

 There is a decline in the number of violent cases of dowry reported since the last decade. But still the rate of decline is very low. I have seen in the case of some of my Karelite friends that, despite Kerala has a literacy rate of 90.5%, parents are literally bankrupted after they marry off their daughter. Hence, we can say that education need not totally wipe away the social evils. The mind-set of people has to be changed. Small cause or the large cause we must encourage ourselves to take a pride stand against unjust.

In most of the societies in our country women are grown up, though they are properly educated, with a mindset of man-dependence. Many sections of society, even today, think that the primary purpose of women is to be a subject of men at all stages of her life. Women are raised up with an attitude to serve the one man and his entire unit. I was shocked to hear from an educated friend of mine when he said his sisters are married away no sooner they complete their primary education, as they think women lose their innocence if they let her pursue higher education. At first they will assign her with a man and if he wishes to educate her, she will study. With such attitude and mindset they make a totally unfriendly environment for a girl child to grow. No wonder why female infanticide still persists.

I don’t understand why a guy or a girl should be inherited with any kind of property in any form from the parents. The most valuable property whatever parents can give to the child is the skill and the ability to learn to develop in any circumstances or situation. The intellectual property, the best ever learning environment possible to them, so that a child can gain the strength to face odds and the strength to stand still on the principles he has learned by his own experiences while growing.

2011 impressions

MAN-DEPENDENT

After graduation many girls have the only dream of getting married. Aspirations and worries of married life top their wish list. But I am quite different. I have different goals. I am graduated and still jobless. I am worried about getting admissions into a good college for my Post-Graduation. I am much more worried about becoming self-dependent. Let me share with you the small problems which girls like me, who think unconventionally, face in the middle class environment.

         I was traveling to my home town for holidays. I successfully managed to get a window seat all alone.Yes,”Successfully managed”?. Common we all know how much crowded our A.P.S.R.T.C buses are during the holiday season. Well that’s not what is important now. Coming to the point, I was very happy with my window seat because it is a tiresome four hour journey and I needed some fresh air.

The bus started. I relaxed listening to music. I called my mom to inform her that I started home. Recognizing that I speak a familiar language to her, an aunt sitting beside me started to grow curious about me. Bingo! She got a time pass to entertain herself on this tiresome journey. No sooner did I finish the phone call, she showered questions over me.

Auntiji asked “Is it your Ammi?”

I replied “Yes Auntiji”.

Then she started making sympathetic faces and asked “Oh dear! Why are you traveling all alone?”

I wished to say ‘Come on Auntiji why are you acting as I was dying. It’s just a four hour journey and it’s like finding some peaceful time to sit and finish of a good magazine’. But I humbly replied “Because I study here and I am going back home for my holidays”.

Then she started firing random questions, consoling me and assuring me that she was there to take care of me during the entire journey. I was irritated at first. But, later I was amazed by her curiosity. I smiled.

Auntiji again started asking “Are you studying all alone?”

I wished to say “Yeah I don’t want to do my studies all alone and I wish Y.S.R would have come back and pass some more educational reforms apart from scholarships. Something like the entire family should join the studies. How about I read 2 chapters and Auntiji you do the rest of it and we both write my exam and I pass it. Good suggestion na.”

Instead I smiled again.

Auntiji: “Has any guy come to send me off at the station?” ”Chacha?,Mama?,bhaiya?”

I: “No Auntiji”.

Auntiji: “KHAASSS DOSTTT????????” and started making faces again…

Now I completely got the clue of her intentions. I had to calm down her curiosity by saying that my Bhai is going to pick me up at the station, when I reach there. Hoping the aunty is pacified, I, I started reading. I successfully avoided her next question by acting as if I were completely involved in my book.

I understand people feel that a girl must be ‘MAN-DEPENDENT’. But I want to be ‘SELF-DEPENDENT’. I feel good doing things on my own. This makes me independent, grown up, able. If I go somewhere without an accomplice, it doesn't mean that my family is not bothered about me. It simply means that they trust me. They are confident that I can take care of myself in such small things and they have taught me well. In fact my family feel honored as I grow and manage new situations. Sometimes some mistakes happen, but I still learn from them and grow. If a girl learns new things, aspires to lead life; a little bit, independent it’s not the innocence of her that is lost. It’s the ignorance.

What kind of offense am I committing, if I go out with my friends for just a panipuri, if I feel like having a walk alone and enjoy myself, if a friend drops me home. I simply become a prey of suspicious gossip mongering aunties.

I know gossip and spreading rumors is the most successful mechanism by you aunties of society to relieve yourself from the frustration of day-to-day lives. But still have you not assigned that responsibility to be rumored about to the film-stars and Rakhi Sawanth. Why me? Why me?

I want to say: “Come on!!! Please have a life. You have much more important things to do with your life. You can prevent Uncle, who is already over paid for his government job, from taking bribes. You can even stop Dadaji from ending up in to an old-age home. Even if that is not possible you can at least teach your sons to behave and respect girls when they go out.”

Please just realize that self-dependence and aspiring girls like me are not a threat to the morals of society. But by hurting us you are meddling with the future of the society.

no no

My greatest achievement is that i am not you.

My greatest regret is that yesterday i was aspiring to be you.

You hurt me and let me down.

But I thank you for showing me practically that no one can make you feel inferior expect yourself.

Because of you I realized that my greatest aspiration is not in achieving success,fame and riches but it lies in not loosing my integrity and character even after reaching great heights.

                                                                                                   THANK YOU.

p.s: plz don't hurt any person because they might not be able to gather the strength and integrity to face it.

                                                      HEAL

Today I can understand why people are still happy, even though they lose everything. I have learnt that every wound teaches me and also that there is a magic called healing in the life. Of lately I understand that scars are the worthiest possessions that one can have because they keep on reminding the past lessons. I realize that there was no need to worry so much about the things out of my control. Today I have learnt that to find solutions I must constantly tame my mind to stop bothering, be patient and start working. Today I no longer fear the unknown because I have already faced the dangers of the comfort zone. And it’s today that I really feel i have grown.

                                                                                                                 -starlet

MY ONLY LIFE

Sometimes life gives us many gifts

And I smile with no reasons.

Sometimes the much adored things of life lose their meaning.

And I feel how stupid I was.

Sometimes I act completely responsible.

And like a super hero I save the day.

Sometimes I lose control and screw up things.

And start wishing that a genie from Aladdin come and do some magic.

Sometimes an unexpected huge tide tries to shatter me.

And surprisingly I overcome it and stand there tall.

Wow!!! Me.

Sometimes I suppress my raised voice with uncertainty.

Then I make things happen when I realize an honest voice is much louder than a crowd.

There are days when I am completely addicted to a silly video game.

And I blew all my grades.

Sometimes I feel untalented just because I am not like all the other silly girls.

I am the only girl on this planet who doesn’t know the art of matching accessories, enjoy shopping, all the nakhra and nazakat. I hate attending parties and pink.

And I have the unconventional fascination towards cars.

Sometimes I am very skeptical about people.

And never let anyone into the territory of my heart even when I need a friend to share.

Sometimes I simply get carried away even for a silly innocent smile.

Sometimes I win in making the most precious friends.

Sometimes I sit in the corridor with my gang commenting every guy on the road.

I even whistle at strangers and hide myself so that my innocent friend standing beside me is booked.

Yes I am that naughty.

Sometimes I become the center stage attraction and hypnotize the audience in a state level event.

And sometimes I babble nonsense in my nervousness to face a silly college level competition, make the audience sleep. I disappear for a week from college trying to avoid all the silly comments.

Yeah it happens.

Sometimes I waste the entire semester by bunking classes, sleeping, chatting. My friends and lectures pray for me, in pity, just to clear all my exams. Though I start reading just before the exam, still top all of them.

Sometimes I oppose everyone, I oppose when I am forced to do what I don’t want.

Get used to it so much that I even misunderstand and hurt a friend.

There are times I lied to my papa and stay home just to watch my favorite serial “shaktimaan”

Sometimes I tolerate the external noise to avoid the painful screams of my wounded soul.

I simply start crying with no reason.

I scream “why me God”

Sometimes I am punctual, strict, disciplined. But that just lasts for some time.

Sometimes I vow to skip my bad habits.

I can’t hold my tongue .I speak a lot, make correct bold statements. But I always end up saying them in the wrong situation and wrong time. I commit a social-suicide and lose all my friends.

Sometimes I find the entire world abnormal.

At times even a single breeze can shatter me.

Then I realize it’s not the fault of breeze. I let it happen to me, in my innocence.

Weird. Unconventional, Uncommon. But still me. It’s my life. I LIVE IT ON MY OWN TERMS.

U can do any number of mistakes. You have the right to be stupid. You can be innocent. You can be whatever you want. It’s not a crime .the real crime is when you fail to learn from them. The much bigger crime is if you fail to realize that you are responsible for everything you do. And the biggest crime is that if you drag someone else in to your madness of fun.  

Lyrics to Butterfly Fly Away :
You tuck me in,
Turn out the light
keep me safe and sound at night
little girls depend on things like that

Brush my teeth and combed my hair
had to drive me everywhere
you were always there when I looked back

You had to do it all alone
Make a live, make a home
Must have been as hard as it could be

And when I couldn't sleep at night
Scare things wouldn't turn out right
you would hold my hand and sing to me

Caterpillar in the tree, how you wonder who you'll be
can't go far but you can always dream
Wish you may and wish you mine
don't you worry hold on tight.
I promise you there will come a day
Butterfly Fly Away
Butterfly Fly Away (butterfly fly away)

Catch your wing now you can’t stay
Take those dreams and make them all come true
Butterfly Fly Away (butterfly fly away)
We been waiting for this day
All along and know just what to do
Butterfly,Butterfly,Butterfly,
Butterfly Fly Away

(Butterfly Fly Away)

KYAA KARE?

FEW QUESTIONS RAISE IN MY MIND AFTER LISTENING TO WHAT HAD HAPPEN BACK SOME 17 YEARS AGO.IN A GREATLY DIVERSE NATION,WHERE DIFFERENCES ARE NEVER NEGOTIATED AND THE HUNGRY POLITITIONS CAN EASILY INDUSE VANDALISM JUST BY RAISING VEHEMENCE WITH IN PEOPLE' HEART SUCH INCIDENTS ARE MUCH LIKELY TO OCCUR.

BUT SOME SAY THAT IT WAS DURING THE TIME OF OUR FATHERS.NOW AN ENTIRE NEW GENERATION HAS EMERGED WITH NEWER PERSPECTIVES, BROADER MINDSETS AND CLEAR THOUGHTS.ITS NOT THAT OUR GENERATION HAS FORGOT ABOUT ALL THE PAIN BUT WE HAVE SOME MUCH IMPORTANT ISSUES TO HANDLE.

WHY TO MAKE SUCH AN ISSUE AND WORRY ABOUT IT WHEN WE HAVE MANY OTHER IMPORTANT THINGS IN OUR BRAIN?

ITS JUST THAT WE CAN’T IGNORE THE POSSIBILITY OF THAT OLD DADAJI’S FUNDAMENTAL ULTRA RELIGIOUS ATTITUDE TO CREEP WITHIN OUR NATION WITH HIGHEST CAPABLE YOUTH.

SIMPLY BECAUSE OUR COUNTRY IS AFRAID TO HANDLE THE IRRESPONSIBLE EGO’S OF ITS VARIOUS RELIGIOUS SECTIONS WE CAN’T SHOW A BLIND EYE TOWARDS MISCREATANTS.OUR LEGAL SYSTEM HAS TO PUNISH THE MISCREANTS.

LETS NOT FORGET LORD RAMA DIDN’T TOOK BITRTH TO CLAIM A PLACE OF LAND BUT A PLACE IN OUR HEART TO TEACH US WHAT IS GOOD AND BAD.

LET’S THE MISCREANT BE PUNISHED.AND LET WE HAVE A RECONCIALATION.LET OUR NEW GENERATION BUILD A TEMPLE OR A MOSQUE OF KNOWLEDGE OR HUMANITY.A UNIVERSITY.OR A RESEARCH CENTER.OR ATLEAST AN ORPHANAGE IN THAT PLACE.