IDENTITY

Some of my friends say summi concentrates on cliche, not-so-happening things. They complain that sometimes I think too much. They say i am not contemporary. Yes, may be. May be sometimes I am committing social suicide by involving my mind into curable but uncured obvious problems of society. I do not understand what sort of trend, fashion, lifestyle or modernism demands you to live by showing blind eye to inner you. We have to enjoy every aspect of our life. Have fun. However, does enjoying every time mean losing yourself? Can’t we enjoy by being ourselves?
I am an Indian. I am a practicing, moderate Muslim, A small town girl of Telangana and a social conscious youth pursuing her education in a city, a fun loving girl who loves to have many diverse hobbies and interests. I am lucky to grow up in an environment with amalgam of cultures bestowed to these contemporary youth. I do not have any stereotypical identity. My identity is a blend of all the positive traits that I have learned from my cultural surroundings, the good things I am able to absorb and seek from the knowledge resources until now. Well may be its time to recognize the fantastic blend identity, which most of the youth in the society have. May be its time to move on and start recognizing people also by what they choose to be apart from what they are born of or where they belong.

My sight cannot escape many problems in the society. Many issues worry me, irritate me, provoke me and make me feel helpless. First, I feel my friend could have been educated and not married off when she just realized to study more. Yes, many of we girls are studying for a cause and not for a purpose. I do agree that the things have become brighter. There has been a shift in the girl education. Nevertheless, un-prioritizing girl education still exists. Sometimes we girls have to skip enrolling in an evening course just because it is risky and unsafe to return home late. Ten years ago, my papa could not have his promotion on time just because of beaurocracy and corruption. I felt things might change by time. However, even today another talented and hardworking friend had to compromise his admissions in to a top medical college because of the same corruption. My talented seniors have struck in the wrong job due to situation. I am afraid if they might be having the same enthusiasm they now carry towards their field of interest until the right time comes. I feel sad for the auto driver who two years ago, gave up his dream of being graduated and chose to work.The list of such things goes on and on if I start writing.

Back when I was a little girl, there was a depression among weavers of my grandmother’s village. Many weavers and farmers of the siricilla village started committing suicide. Some of my summer playmates did not come to play because some lost their father’s lives to the agricultural debt and burdensome loans. I knew what was going on but I did not know why it was happening. However, today I can find some answers. Bad governance, ignorance and lack of appreciation to our indigenous skills and awareness were the problem. I do not know why we should still not change. I sometimes doubt that will we ever find a solution to some of our day today problems. Today I have grown up to recognize the difference between unsolvable problems and solvable ones with in our realm. I am happy that we are better than our past.
               But I am worried that still today we are unaware of the changeable and unchangeable situations. I know things take time. Why can’t we all act responsible to the things in our hand? When will we start feeling doing some small good as our responsibility rather start thinking of being good only after we have completely raised to satisfy ourselves. We all feel let me reach to some same point and then we will start thinking of being nice to others. But we fail to recognize that till the point comes things worsen. And will the limit to that point ever come? Is it necessary to reach an identity of own completely and start thinking of every other thing?
                Is making an identity an ending journey and not a never-ending process?its like saying let me reach the destination first and let me come back and remove each thorn on my previous journey.  I READ SOMEWHERE ANY SMALL GOOD THING I CAN. LET ME DO IT TODAY ITSELF.may be i learn it somehow.

And I today end up with this lovely amine number.